2021 and 2022 were not so good to me and had to go through so much of rigorous learning. I was aware of the term “self-love” but I barely knew how to implement that in real. But at least I loved myself a bit and that’s why I chose to go ahead with therapies and met a wonderful life coach. Changing the thought process and course of life is not easy, but by prioritising self-love, you can achieve it easily.
So in simple language, self-love is a state of mind where you constantly appreciate yourself no matter how you are. You also tend to focus on physical, spiritual and psychological growth of your own self. But we humans, have this habit of judging ourselves instead of appreciating. At least, now I know how I came such a long way. It was a rocky road for me but I crossed the entire path gradually and gracefully.
How I achieved self-love for myself?
- I stopped using negative words. Don’t, haven’t and never don’t exist in my dictionary. I didn’t achieve it overnight but kept on trying gradually till the time I got it right.
- I stopped comparing myself with others. All throughout my life, I have been compared with others for my academic performance, physical appearance, and so on. I’m not trying to say that I’m perfect. But if you are not comparing yourself with others, that means you are standing up for yourself. You are showing up for yourself. That’s really important.
- If you are able to ignore to people’s opinions then you have very close to the jackpot I believe. People will have hundreds and thousands of opinions about you. But it’s you who have to stay firm at your point and ignore their unnecessary and unwanted opinions. Remember, you are living your life, they are not living your lif
4. Don’t be harsh on yourself when you are making mistakes. Its okay to fail, it’s okay to make mistakes. Instead of thinking that you failed, just think, you found another way which is not leading you to your goal. You have to find another way out.
5. Remember that your value and talent doesn’t lie in your physical appearance. Being a woman, I came across lot of sexist remarks. This society thinks the benchmark of being a settled woman comes with being a wife and a mother only, not by being a good daughter or with a successful career.
6. Don’t keep the toxic vibes and people around you. Toxicity will hamper your mental peace. You may come across negative minded people, but keep a safe distance if you cannot cut them off totally from your life, professionally its quite justified.
7. Trusting your own gut is another essential part of self-love. I literally lost trust in myself. I was very confused and shaky while making decisions for myself. Constantly, I had the fear of failing. I used to think, what if things will go wrong and will hurt me back. I built my trust slowly and steadily. Now my gut speaks to me.
8. Prioritising yourself doesn’t mean you are selfish and opportunist. But if you are choosing yourself over others by taking advantage of them, then off course you are a selfish and opportunist person. I see the red flags, think about them, don’t give the power to others to mess up with me.
9. Feel both the pain and joy in your life. Generally, we enjoy everything when we are in a joyful mood. But when things go wrong, we tend to live in a denial stage. Denial is another face of escapism. You can never get rid off the pain by escaping it. You have to face it bravely and accept it. Then you can build a safe place for yourself and overcome it in next few days.
10. Build the confidence to face the world. Never shy away while speaking your mind. Don’t wait for approval from others to speak your thoughts. People may suppress your thoughts and may feel insecure.
11. Be kind to yourself. If you are making mistake, then just accept it politely instead of going into the self-abusive mode. Abusing your own self is not going to help you in any way. Rather being kind to yourself, will eventually calm you down and will help you to find a better solution.
12. Find the beauty in the tiniest and the simplest of the things. When I reached to a considerable level of self-love, I started finding cleaning my kitchen as an amazing stuff. I write gratitude journal every night before hitting my bed. I say thanks to the universe even for having drinking water. It’s a very bare minimum thing, but still it is so beautiful.
It doesn’t even take an extra moment to curse your own self for your actions. But it takes a long to appreciate and be kind to yourself. Higher level of self-love doesn’t come overnight, but with conscious and constant practice you can achieve it. Low self-esteem, losing faith in yourself, depression, anxiety, anger; you just name it, but the one and only solution to all of these is self-love.