Recently, I read an article on philosophy, where the writer says, when we can’t control something, that thing controls us. Sounds confusing right? Well, it sounded vague to me too. But I realised that, it’s really true. The problem with humans is they want to control everything and every thought emerging from their mind. But it’s impossible and we are too arrogant to accept it.
Back in 2021 and 2022, I hit the rock bottom and was somehow trying to grab something to keep floating. That was the moment, I realised a professional help will bring some peace within me. The advantage of studying psychology in the university made me believe that I cannot be the sole provider to myself for everything. Whatever I knew to calm myself down was not enough and I needed something extra and more rigorous.
What is self-care?
Nowadays, this term has become important in our life. The stress level is growing through the roof, and we are unable to manage it. I learnt that self-care only could be the thing which can bring me back on the track. I hurled my therapist saying that, I hired you and didn’t end my life because I love myself. Isn’t it an enough definition of self-love and self-care? She said, no it’s not enough. And she pushed me to explore to work on my own self- care journey.
As per my own understanding, self-care is a way of sustainable living where you take care of yourself. Many researchers tried defining self-care in scientific ways. But let’s go simple here. When you prioritise yourself, create boundaries to protect yourself, you are caring for yourself. Some people may tag this behaviour as self-obsession or narcissistic behaviour. Self-care and self-love are defined in a positive way; but narcissistic behaviour defines a person’s negative side.
Some of my favourite self-care activities:
- Reading
- Writing daily journal and gratitude journal
- Self-gifting once a month
- Skin care
- Meditation
- Mindful eating
- Sleeping
- Breathing exercises
- Cooking my favourite meals
- Staying away from smoking, drinking and overeating
Once in every three months, I hangout at the beauty salon for few hours for hair treatment. That’s another way of pampering myself and it’s very relaxing too. Some may also visit spa for a good relaxing massage or treatment.
Letter to myself once a month
This may sound childish, but I write letter to myself once a month. Based on the progress I made in the last month and seeing the difference in my personality, I write letter to myself. I include things and people I am grateful for, work and health. This is how I manifest abundance in my life.
I first started writing letters to those I was angry with. It was a method my therapist suggested me to do to let go the negative emotions about those people. By writing letters to them, I felt I can slowly forgive them and not holding the grudge against them deep inside me. Gradually, I felt light and started sleeping well at night. So later on, after finishing my therapy sessions, I realised I must continue writing letters to myself for better results.
This may all sound quite intimidating to you. But when you are determined to help and prioritise yourself, you do things unconsciously. I made a choice of not picking my phone after 9 pm, unless I receive a call from my family or my two best friends. I spend that one hour with myself before going off to sleep. I create my boundaries respectfully and try not to upset people harshly or deliberately. I politely turn down the requests and respect myself. Start practising self-care today, you will feel better.